


the kids behind the counter

by ataxophilia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen, M/M, for the young avengers at least, the avengers still have powers, this fic is a disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 16:57:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1557575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataxophilia/pseuds/ataxophilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which the young avengers work at an avengers-themed coffeeshop (and, in a cosmic twist that would fit right into those soap-operas that Loki pretends he's not hooked on, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff walk into the shop.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the kids behind the counter

**Author's Note:**

> Very much written for and inspired by Cass, as a reward for getting her papers done. You go, girl!
> 
> This is literally just unashamed ridiculousness. There is some swearing, and a (joking) mention of suicide at one point. 
> 
> Unbeta'd, so probably full of awful mistakes.

Avenge Coffee is a relatively new shop. Kind of. As in, technically speaking there's been a coffee shop in the building for something close to a hundred years now — seventy-three next June, as David likes to point out, because he knows basically everything — but it's only been Avenge Coffee for a little under two.

The old shop was destroyed in the Manhattan attack of '12. According to the locals, and the Avenge team have learned to trust the locals when it comes to resident heroes the Avengers, the only thing that kept the building standing was the dashing Captain America and his brave, selfless team of superheroes — hence the name of the shiny new shop opened up by one Phil Coulson a couple of months after the attack.

Avenge is about as close as you can get to a shrine without being more than a little embarrassing. It's full of Avengers clutter, from figurines on shelves on the walls to old Captain America recruitment posters from the 40's. There's a pinboard dedicated to selfies with and/or candid shots of members of the Avengers. Each Avenger has a drink named after them. The back wall, behind the counter, is covered in newspaper clippings regarding the teams.

Worst of all, the staff team have all been given nicknames — some actually inspired by the Avengers themselves.

It's why Billy and Teddy — Asgardian and Hulking, respectively — work there. The two of them love the place so much they'd probably be there the whole time even if they weren't being paid for it, but when the now-hiring sign went up, they were the first applicants. Kate, codename Hawkeye, because originality is a thing that Coulson has clearly never heard of, thinks it's cute, in a weird kind of way. America, who doesn't need a nickname with a given name like that, thinks they're both mad. David, who outright refused to go by a stupid Avengers codename and glared at them all until they agreed and let him name himself Prodigy, spends too much time watching them make gooey-eyes at each other and trying to hide his jealousy to have much of an opinion.

Coulson freaking loves them. No surprises there. He's the reason the shop is Avengers-themed, fanboy that he is. The three of them spend an almost worrying amount of time discussing whether or not the Avengers will ever come to Avenge, and what they'd order if they did.

"Like this wouldn't be the most mortifying place ever for an Avenger to find themselves in," Loki — real name, not a nickname, although god only knows why — drawls one day, effectively cutting off Teddy and Billy's conversation. America whacks him around the head and tells him he's being a dick, which is about the extent of America and Loki's interactions on any given day, but they all know that he's right. No self-respecting Avenger would walk into an Avenger-themed cafe.

Teddy shifts uncomfortably. Billy looks torn between pouting and hitting something. Kate sighs, taps her nails against the counter, and says, "Well, it doesn't hurt anyone to imagine, does it?"

And that, in a cosmic twist that would fit right into those soap-operas that Loki pretends he's not hooked on, is when Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff walk into the shop.

There's an awkward beat where all the teens gape at the two new, distinctly superhero customers, and then Kate, the only one out of the bunch who is actually on shift, hisses, "Scram, you fuckers."

Everyone does as she says, because she's pretty scary when she wants to be, except America, who isn't scared of anyone. America whistles low and amused instead. "Hawkeye and Hawkeye," she says, and all the colour drains out of Kate's face as she glances down at her nametag. America's smile grows into a wicked grin. "Cute."

"Oh, fuck off." America raises an eyebrow but doesn't move. The two Avengers are at the counter before Kate can threaten her properly, so she pulls her face into a smile — she's so good at faking the polite, happy-to-see-you, barista look that Teddy is actively scared of her when she puts it on — and says, "Welcome to Avenge Coffee, what can I get for you today?"

She can literally feel  Natasha's gaze scan down her uniform to the nametag. The smile on her face when she looks back up is distinctly America-esque, and Kate makes a mental note to suggest a change in nicknames to Coulson next time he's in. They already have Eli, AKA Patriot, covering Captain America, anyway. And Black Widow deserves at least one Avenge team counterpart.

Clint is too busy scanning the drinks list —and the newspaper clippings — to notice Kate's badge, at least. "Hey, Nat," he says, elbow digging into Natasha's side. "They've got Avengers themed drinks here."

Nat gives him a look that suggests he is a total moron. "This is an Avengers themed cafe," she points out. "A few themed drinks is hardly a surprise."

"Those Avengers are pretty amazing." Clint flashes Natasha an utterly unsubtle grin, and Kate realises that they don't know that she knows who they are.

It's understandable, really — the only reason Kate _does_ know is because Coulson, Teddy and Billy are borderline creepy when it comes to the Avengers — but it's also kind of hilarious. America's grin when Kate glances over at her suggests that she agrees.

Kate has spent her entire life taking advantage of the things that people don't know she knows. "Are you guys fans?" She leans forward, her barista-smile slipping into something equally fake but much closer to Billy levels of enthusiasm. Clint flashes Natasha another grin. This one is even less subtle than the last.

"You could say that."

"Oh, man, so are we." Kate widens her eyes just enough to make her look like she's pleased to meet new crazy fans. America hides a snort in a bout of fake laughter. "They're, like, crazy awesome, right?"

Okay, so she's maybe overdoing it a little bit, but it's so worth it to see the way Clint's eyes light up with misplaced glee and Natasha's shoulders slowly relax. "Anyway," she continues brightly, gesturing down at the little chalkboard by the till. "Today's special is the Hawkeye. Salted caramel mocha. Real popular with the writery-hipster types."

Clint pauses mid-grin. He narrows his eyes at her, like he's trying to gauge how serious she's being, and when her expression doesn't so much as twitch his eyes go comically wide.

"We'll take two," Natasha says, smoothly, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a small smile. Kate nods at her, pointedly not looking at the horrified expression on Clint's face, and turns to make the drinks.

She catches America's eye as she does, and it takes all her willpower not to burst out laughing right there and then. They've always thought the Avengers themed drinks are a step too far, but right now Kate kind of wants to shower Coulson with limited edition figurines for the suggestion. This story is going to keep the whole team laughing for weeks.

Natasha smiles again when Kate hands the drinks over and rings them up. Her voice is blankly pleasant when she thanks Kate and tells Clint to pull himself together, but Kate thinks maybe there are hints of amusement there.

"How long do you think I can lord this over Billy's head?" she mutters to America as Clint and Natasha walk away, Clint complaining loudly about the ridiculous drink defiling Hawkeye's name.

America snorts. "This'll make you his new favourite for good, princess." Kate raises an eyebrow, and America grins, unabashed, and adds, "Okay, after the Avengers. And maybe Teddy. But then it's you."

As if he could hear the conversation, Billy barrels over, babbling a hundred miles a minute about Hawkeye and Black Widow and, "There were actual Avengers in the shop, guys, just wait until I tell Coulson about this!"

\---

That should have been, by all rights, the end of it. While Clint pretty clearly didn't realise he'd been recognised, Kate was fairly certain Natasha knew, and even if by some miracle she hadn't, Kate doubts they'll be back to the creepy shrine-like shop. Most of the others all more or less agree — Loki loudly and smugly, Teddy and Billy resignedly, Eli with a scowl, America and David with utter apathy, and Cassie and Jonas with scarily similar pouts. Only Tommy disagrees, working on the logic that, "Stark wouldn't miss any place that featured his face stuck up all over the walls."

Somewhat worryingly, Tommy is proven right four days later, when a quiet Wednesday afternoon is interrupted by a very familiar voice saying, "I refuse to believe that an Avengers cafe would make the Hawkeye drink its special, I just— I will not believe that. I cannot believe that. It makes no logical sense whatsoever."

Billy muffles his squeak by clapping both hands over his mouth, and then whispers, as though they're all complete morons with no internet access, "That's Tony Stark."

"I fucking _told_ you," Tommy crows. Kate punches his arm and drags him away from the counter before he can add any more embarrassment to the situation. America settles against the counter again, already smiling.

They almost look casual when Stark arrives at the till, Clint trailing sheepishly behind him.

It's Teddy's shift, so he's the one that smiles brightly — Teddy's barista smile is fucking _natural_ , the weirdo — and says, "Hi, welcome to Avenge Coffee. What'll you be drinking?"

"What's the special, kid? Uh." He blinks, then squints at Teddy's nametag. The action reminds Kate of a child who's just been told to mind their manners. From what she knows about Tony Stark, it might not be too far from the truth. "Hulking? Are you serious?"

Teddy, bless him, flushes, red rising bright on his cheekbones. "It's not— we're, um, it's a—"

"It's a nickname," Billy interrupts, slipping behind the counter to bump his hip against Teddy's. Sometimes they're so cute it makes Kate feel a little ill. "We've all got one."

Stark squints again. "Right. Nicknames. And yours is?"

"Asgardian." Billy points to America, Tommy and Kate and recites, "Miss America, Speed, Hawkeye."

"Cute." Tony turns the squint onto Kate. "Don't I know you?"

Everyone turns to look at Kate, who shrugs. "We move in the same circles. Sort of." When Tommy raises an eyebrow, she adds, "Rich people circles. Everyone knows everyone when there's money involved."

"Right, daddy's rich, I keep forgetting." Tommy rolls his eyes. Understanding dawns on Stark's face.

"You're the Bishop girl." Kate goes still. Tommy leans a little closer, but Stark doesn't notice and turns to Clint. "The Bishop kid is baby Hawkeye." He turns back to Kate. "This is fucking gold."

Teddy clears his throat, and Tony's attention snaps back to him. "Drinks?"

"Right, yeah — the special? What's the special? Tell me it isn't that Hawkeye drink."

"Uh." Teddy gestures down at the chalkboard. "It's the Hulk, today. Green tea."

Stark literally sighs with relief. "Hulk is better than Hawkeye, I suppose." Clint yelps. Stark ignores him. "Not as good as Iron Man, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Two Hulks, kid." Teddy snorts, but he moves over to the back counter to prepare the teas. Billy goes with him, leaving Stark to study Kate, Tommy and America.

"So," he says, eyebrows quirked. "You've got a baby Hawkeye, a baby Cap, a baby Hulk and a baby Thor. Any other mini Avengers hiding around here?"

Tommy glances between Stark and Kate and offers, "Technically, America isn't, uh, baby Cap, that's just her name. Baby Cap is Eli — Patriot."

"There are two baby Caps?" Stark pulls a face that makes him look a little bit like he's just been stabbed. Clint snorts, and shakes his head when Tommy opens his mouth up to correct Stark. "What about baby Iron Man? Don't you have a, what — an Iron Kid? Iron Boy? Iron Lad?"

Kate shakes her head. America raises an eyebrow. Tommy says, "Nope," with a pop.

Stark looks alarmingly like a five year old about to throw a tantrum.

"Hey, um, Mister Stark?" Teddy clears his throat when Stark's eyes snap to him, still wide and offended. "Your drinks are ready."

Stark's face clears, just a little, only to fall again when he takes the two cups and registers the very-definitely-not-coffee inside them. "Right," he mutters. "Green tea. Because Hulk, very funny." He fixes Teddy with a hard glare as he hands over a twenty dollar note, and says, "It is utter nonsense that you've got a kid named after — Speedy Gonzales, or whatever, but no Iron Lad. Keep the change." And with that he turns on his heel and strides out of the shop, leaving Clint to shrug apologetically and thank Teddy for the drinks.

He hesitates before following, jamming his fingers into his hoodie pocket. "We'll probably be back," he tells them, sounding like he wants to add an 'I'm sorry' to the statement. "Just a warning."

The team watch him silently as he walks out the door, and then slowly turn to blink at each other. "Am I the only one who feels like we really, really need a new worker?" Tommy says, tapping his fingers steadily against his knee.

"We've got no vacancies," Billy points out, chewing nervously on his lower lip.

Teddy nudges their shoulders together. "It'll be fine. We'll just— name the coffee machine Iron Lad, or something. Besides, I'm pretty sure they won't be back. They're Avengers, remember?"

\---

Teddy's idea about christening the coffee machine sticks, bizarrely, and it's only a few days before they're all calling it Iron Lad like they've been doing it their whole lives. Their regulars — for the most part, all pretty massive Avengers fans themselves — love it. Coulson finds the whole thing hilarious. The only person who doesn't take part in the joke is Loki, who rolls his eyes and dubs them all lunatics.

Teddy isn't quite so right about Clint's promise, though. Just over a week after Stark's visit, Natasha shows up again, this time trailed by a truly impressive blonde with a face they all recognise.

"No fucking way," Kate breathes.

Eli jams an elbow into her side and says, "Don't swear in front of Captain America," before straightening up and positively beaming at Natasha and Steve. "Welcome to Avenge Coffee, er, sir, ma'am. It's a pleasure to have you here."

Kate blink up across at him, and then narrows her eyes. Eli is by far the worst out of the whole team at playing nice with customers. She's pretty sure she's never seen him smile so wide before, ever — not even when Coulson decided he could have the Captain America themed nickname.

Eli elbows her again when he notices her stare. "Oh, fuck off," he mutters. "Do something helpful with yourself for once. Start up Iron Lad, or something."

"I resent that," Kate snaps back, but she gives him one last calculating look before turning to the machines without argument.

It's early — like, stupid early. They're the only ones in the shop, and Steve and Natasha are their first customers, so the machines aren't quite ready for drink-making yet. But Kate's been working them for two years now, since Coulson first reopened the place, so it's easy for her to listen to the conversation at the counter while she's setting them up.

"Iron Lad?" Natasha asks, and Kate's definitely not imagining the laughter in her voice this time.

"Stark was here the other day," she calls over her shoulder before Eli can say anything. "Got all offended because no one was named after him."

Steve snorts. "Sounds like Tony," he says, and Natasha hums her agreement.

"So that's a thing, then?" Natasha nods to Eli's nametag. "The nicknames?" Eli's cheeks flush, but he nods. "Huh. I figured Stark was making that up."

"Clint said he wasn't," Steve protests, and Natasha fixes him with a caustic raised eyebrow.

"Clint will say anything if it'll get him more trick arrows," she says, dismissively. "Besides, he and Stark are 'bros' now, apparently. God help us all."

Steve frowns a little, like he wants to object but can't quite find the words, but the door saves him from trying to defend his teammates.

"I'm here, dorks, you can stop— is that _Captain America_?"

Kate grins, cat-like, as Steve and Tommy both flush bright red. "Morning, dickwad," she calls over to him. "We've got super-customers again. Try not to drool all over the floor."

"Also, you're half an hour late." Tommy scowls at Eli, and jogs past Steve and Natasha, shooting them another wide-eyed look, to slip behind the counter.

"Super-customers?" Steve repeats. His cheeks are still red, but his voice is amused. Kate tilts her head at him.

"Well, yeah. You're superheroes, and you're customers. It just kind of— stuck."

"Like Iron Lad," Tommy supplies helpfully, patting the coffee machine.

"We've already discussed Iron Lad," Kate tells him. "You're late, Blondie."

Eli clears his throat, a pained expression on his face that eases a little when Kate and Tommy shut up and turn to him. "Drinks?"

The laugh in Natasha's voice is unmistakable this time. "The special? Capsicle, what's that?"

"Um." Eli's whole face freezes, red creeping along his cheekbones. He glances across at Kate and Tommy, but neither of them speaks up. Tommy pulls a mockingly sincere face and gestures for Eli to continue. Kate smiles again, with teeth, and folds her arms over her chest.

Eli turns back to Steve and Natasha and says, carefully, "It's an iced americano."

There's a beat of silence, and then Natasha bursts out laughing. Kate shoots Tommy a raised eyebrow, and he shrugs in return, grinning widely. Eli looks like he's debating braining himself with the tip jar.

"Six," Natasha says, once her laughter is under control. "We need six. The others will kill me if I don't bring them a Capsicle."

Steve rolls his eyes at her, but it's fond, not embarrassed, and he smiles kindly at Eli when he hands over the money. "It's alright," he says, with a wink, like he knows exactly what's going on in Eli's head. "Tony and Clint call me worse things on a daily basis."

Eli's still blushing when Kate hands him the drinks to give to Steve, but he no longer appears to be considering suicide, so Kate's not too worried.

They get another blast of Steve's dimples before he turns to leave. Natasha nods to them all and follows him, still giggling quietly to herself as she digs her elbow into his ribs.

Kate says, "Huh," and then, "That's, what, four out of six, now?"

Eli nods. Tommy pulls a face.

"Coulson is gonna be so mad that he missed this."

\---

"Ten bucks says it'll be Thor next."

America purses her lips, but nods. "I'll take you up on that. Ten bucks on Banner."

"It's a deal," Cassie says, holding out her hand. "You'll be paying up by the end of the week, 'Merica, you just wait and see."

"God, ten dollars on you two are idiots." Kate whacks Cassie's side with her dishcloth, grinning when Cassie pokes her tongue out at her.

"Well, who _do_ you think it'll be, Princess?"

Kate snorts. "I _don't_."

"You don't think they'll be back?" Cassie tilts her head to one side, a habit she very definitely picked up from Kate. It's a lot cuter when Cassie does it.

"No, I just don't waste my time trying to work out which one will appear next." She shrugs, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the counter. "It's not like we know them well enough to predict what they'll do."

Cassie rolls her eyes. "That's not the point, Kate. It's fun."

"Sure." Kate straightens up as the door opens, then grins when she spots their next customers. "Is it still fun when I win?"

"What?" Cassie spins on her heel to see the door. "Oh."

Steve ducks into the coffeeshop, glancing round nervously to check how many people have noticed him. Kate follows his gaze, and notes with pride that only one or two customers are openly gawking at him. The rest are pointedly staring down at their drinks or their laptops.

"God bless Manhattan," she mutters to herself.

Steve has a friend with him, but Kate doesn't know who he is —he's not one of the Avengers, that's for sure. He's grinning widely, though, and when he gets to the counter he takes one look at Kate and exclaims, "Natasha was right, man, this place is adorable!"

"Uh, thanks?" Kate glances across at Cassie, who shrugs. "And welcome back to Avenge Coffee. Or, welcome, for you, I guess."

"Hi, Hawkeye." The new guy beams. "I'm Sam. Or Falcon. Either is good." Steve pulls an exasperated face and knocks his shoulder into Sam's. Sam winces over-dramatically.

Kate decides she likes him, and smiles back. "You guys know what you're drinking?"

"We've been sent to get the whole team, and I quote, 'whatever today's special is at that crazy Avengers cafe'," Sam tells her. "So, uh, I guess it's seven Hawkeyes."

"Alright." Kate nods, then grins at Cassie. "Teamwork, Stature, c'mon."

Cassie rolls her eyes again and heads behind the counter to get started on the drinks.  Kate turns back to Sam and Steve with raised eyebrows.

"So, you're not an Avenger, " she says. Sam barks out a laugh and shakes his head.

"Nah, man, not yet. I'm just a buddy of Steve's."

Kate's eyebrows lift higher. "Not yet?"

"Yeah, well." Sam shrugs, his smile sharp. "I'm working on it." Kate nods slowly, accepting the first batch of drinks from Cassie. Sam's still grinning when she turns back. "Do I get a special named after me when I make it on the team?"

"Sure," Kate says, handing the drinks over. "You get into the Avengers, and we'll let you pick the drink for it and everything."

"That a deal, baby Hawkeye?"

She snorts, takes the rest of the drinks from Cassie, and says, "It's not baby Hawkeye, wannabe-hero. It's just Hawkeye."

"Right." Sam grins again, and salutes. "I'll be back, Hawkeye."

They can hear him repeating, "Adorable, Steve, fucking adorable," until he and Steve are out on the street, at which point America turns to raise an eyebrow at Kate.

"Are you actually capable of talking to anyone without flirting?" she asks, and Cassie hums her agreement, leaning against the counter next to Kate.

"Oh, shut up," Kate replies, folding her arms over her chest. "You're just mad because you both owe me ten bucks."

Cassie scoffs and throws a balled-up dishcloth at Kate's head, and America rolls her eyes, and then it's back to business as usual.

\---

It's Billy on the till the next time the Avengers make an appearance — both Thor and Bruce this time, accompanied by Tony Stark, who scans across all of them with narrowed eyes.

"Am I seeing an Iron Kid here?" he asks, striding over to the counter and completely ignoring all the looks he's getting from the customers. David, perched on one of the stools by the till, raises his eyebrows and looks across at Kate, who shrugs  back at him. Tony's eyes dart straight to the movement, and then over to David. He reads the nametag pinned to David's top and makes a dismissive noise. "If you're my mini-me then you need to work on your nickname."

"Uh, no," David tells him. "I'm not your— mini-me, sorry."

Tony pauses, his eyes narrowing again, and Tommy, stood next to his brother behind the counter, pipes up, "Tony Stark, meet Iron Lad, the best coffee machine in New York City. And probably also New York State, though we haven't had a chance to verify that yet."

Bruce makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a choked down laugh. "You named your coffee machine after Iron Man?"

"It's his fault! He came in here and started moaning about how we didn't have anyone named after him, so we improvised." Tommy pats the coffee machine defensively. "He should be grateful. It's a good coffee machine."

"I would expect Anthony to be most pleased," Thor says, stepping closer to the counter to beam at the coffee machine. "He spends much of his time in the kitchen declaring his love for the coffee machine there."

Tony pats him absently on the arm — which gives Kate the chance to stare openly at them, because _wow_ , those arms — and says, "Yeah, buddy, I _am_ pleased. Coffee machines are way cooler than teenage staff members."

"Hey!" Tommy protests, but Stark ignores him.

"I mean, you can't upgrade a teenager. Well." He pauses, eyes flickering over to Bruce briefly before dancing back to the coffee machine. "Not really. Not without shady government agencies backing you. And a shady government agency backing us is something we no longer have." He pauses again to point at the team. "You kids didn't hear that. But, anyway, machines — way easier to tinker with."

Kate raises an eyebrow. "So you're happy?"

"More than happy," Bruce replies, before Tony can start on another rant. "Now, we'd like some drinks?"

"Oh!" Billy jumps to attention, bobbing his head slightly and rubbing at the back of his neck. "That's my bad, sorry. What can I get for you?"

Bruce smiles. It's a kind smile. Kate remembers with a jolt that this is the man who turns into the Hulk. The image seems a little jarring compared to his friendly expression.

But then again, she thinks, she doesn't exactly see a master marksman when she looks at Clint, or a guy who risks his life regularly to save New York when she looks at Tony, so maybe it's just a superhero thing.

"I think it was Tony's bad, really," Bruce says, and ignores the hurt look Tony turns on him. "And we'll have three specials, please. I've been told they never fail to amuse."

Tony snorts and mutters, "Except the Hawkeye," which earns him another raised eyebrow and a dismissive huff from Kate.

"Today's special is, um, Thor," Billy jumps in, casting an awkward look at Thor.

There's no need for it, though, because Thor's face breaks out into what might literally be the brightest smile Kate has ever seen. "An honour indeed."

"Right." Billy blinks. "I'll, um. I'll get those for you. Just three?"

"Yes, I think." Bruce smiles again. "Just three, today."

Tommy turns to make the drinks, which means they're done faster than should really be possible — hence the nickname, Speed. He applied to the cafe a few months after Billy, by which point Coulson had given up on Avengers themed names, mostly because Cassie only answered to Stature, which Kate gave her for the truly impressive heels she wore on a team night out, and not any of Coulson's attempts.

Usually, his speed — and his tendency to brag about it — is a little annoying, but this time Kate's grateful for it, because it means Tony doesn't get a chance to interrogate them again. Instead, Bruce hands him a drink and ushers him out of the shop, shooting another warm smile over his shoulder and thanking them all for the drinks. Thor follows them, swigging from his drink, a cinnamon hot chocolate, and declaring it a very pleasing namesake.

"So, uh," David says, once the door has swung shut behind Thor. "Does this mean America or Cassie win the bet?"

"I feel like this should count as another victory for Kate, really," Tommy replies, wiping down Iron Lad. For some unknown reason — probably related to his insistence on using it at top speed — the machine always makes more of a mess when Tommy makes the drinks.

Kate grants him with a wide grin for that. "This is why you're my favourite twin," she tells him, ignoring Billy's offended noise.

\---

Two weeks later, a troop of very green, not-very-human-looking things march into the cafe, armed with nasty looking guns that they waste no time in aiming at the team.

They're all in the shop, because it's a Thursday afternoon, and none of them have anything better to do. Teddy's at the till which means Billy is perched on the counter, caught up in an intense debate with America and David about Spiderman's chances of getting into the Avengers. Loki is sat nearby, sipping his usual fancy tea, pausing to comment disdainfully on the conversation every so often. The others are all sat around one of the cafe tables. A couple of discussions about films and TV shows spark up and peter out, but mostly they're complaining about how bored they all are, which makes the surprise invasion all the more ironic.

"The Avengers," barks the green thing — _alien_ , Kate thinks, with no small amount of hysteria lining the realisation — in the fanciest outfit. "Where are they?"

There's a long, long moment of silence. Eli clears his throat, eyeing the alien pointing its gun at him before slowly getting to his feet.

All the guns not currently aiming at a human immediately point to him.

"Um," he says, his bravado fading a little in the face of so many weapons pointing his way. But not so much that he can't add, "What?" Kate is honestly kind of impressed by his nerve.

The fanciest alien is not so pleased. "The Avengers," he repeats. "This is their base of activities, is it not?"

"Er." Eli blinks, turning back to stare at the others sat at the table with him, then at the group by the counter, and then finally back at the alien. "No. It's not."

The alien's face goes harder. He barks something in a harsh language that Kate doesn't recognise at all, and gestures towards one of the other aliens, who rushes forward and grabs America by the arm. "Tell us where the Avengers are, or we shoot the girl," the fancy alien says, staring impassively at Eli.

"Whoa, hold the fuck up," Kate says, shooting to her feet. The Alien closest to her hisses something in the same creepy language, and she shoots him a caustic look. "Scarier guns have been pointed at me before, buddy," she tells him, which isn't exactly true, but is close enough that she thinks she pulls it off. What is true is that, thanks to her father's high-powered, high-money job, this isn't the first time she's been threatened by goons with guns. The number might not even be in single figures anymore. "We don't know where they are. This is a coffeeshop! It's not some— secret superhero base."

She skirts around the aliens, ignoring the guns and the increasingly angry noises, until she's stood in front of the fanciest one. "Aiming a gun at our friend won't change that."

The alien lifts his gun and presses it against her stomach. There's a flutter of fear in Kate's gut, but she stamps down on it. She learnt long ago that panicking in situations like this doesn't help anything. "Yeah, sure, you can point that thing at me, too, but it still won't magically bring the Avengers here—"

She's cut by the sound of smashing glass, and something that looks suspiciously like Captain America's smashes into the back of the fancy alien's head. Kate dives to one side before anyone accidentally shoots her in the stomach and scrambles backwards until she's next to America, who, thankfully, had the same idea.

"You alright?" America nods shortly, and Kate grins. "Same. Good. Okay." She looks around the shop, taking in the carnage. The aliens are all firing out towards the street, where — and the irony of today is absolutely killing Kate, it really is — a sizeable percentage of the Avengers are firing back. "Seriously," she mutters, "Do we live in a comic book?"

America snorts at that, and grabs the back of Kate's jacket, pulling her back behind the counter. "Comic book or not, you stay out there and you get shot."

"You're no fun," Kate replies, but she ducks down next to America, shooting Teddy, Billy and Loki a strained grin. "Everyone still got all their limbs?"

She gets four different confirmations back — well, technically, Loki's is more of a sardonic look, but she's counting it — and grins again. Ridiculous irony and life-threatening aliens aside, this is actually kind of fun.

Of course, that could just be the adrenaline talking.

The fight isn't a long one. It can't take more than ten minutes for the Avengers to capture most of the aliens and kill the ones they can't. Kate's on her feet as soon as America lets her jacket go, staring around at the wreckage. Across the cafe, Tommy and Cassie are upright, too, and they all exchange slightly shocked grins.

"This is gonna be so good for business," Cassie says, prodding a nearby alien corpse with her foot. "Although, thinking about it, the bodies might scare everyone away."

"Don't worry about it, there'll be a clean-up team here soon," Stark tells her, walking straight through the destroyed front window into the shop. His faceplate is up, or detached, or whatever the hell it does, so they can all see the way his eyes go straight to the coffee machine. "Is Iron Lad okay?"

"I thought you didn't have shady government backing anymore," Kate points out.

Stark shoots her a quick glare. "I thought I said you didn't hear that." Kate pulls a face, unapologetic, and his eyes narrow. "Iron Lad?"

Kate glances over her shoulder, but the machine looks mostly unharmed. "Seems fine." She shrugs. "We're all fine too, thanks for asking."

Stark shrugs back, then winces as Natasha whacks the side of his helmet with a gun. "Play nice," she warns him, and then turns to Kate. She's covered in a dark goo that is probably alien blood. Kate kind of wants to be her when she grows up. "Nobody's hurt?"

"Um." Kate glances around at the scattered members of her team, all standing up now, and all looking in one piece. "I don't think so."

Natasha's gaze sweeps around the room and she nods, coming to the same conclusion. "Good." She smiles. It looks real and, disconcertingly, a little fond. "You all did well."

Stark rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you kids were very brave, we're all very impressed — now can I get some coffee? Saving people is thirsty work."

"Tony," Steve says tiredly, walking into the shop behind his teammates. He actually pushes the door open and walks through. It would be adorable, but he's also covered in black alien goo, which ruins the image a little.

"What? I think we've earned coffee. We have, right?" He turns to Natasha, who rolls her eyes back at him. "We've definitely earned coffee."

"I heard coffee." Clint uses the door to walk in, but Kate's fairly certain that, unlike Steve, it's not good manners, it's just force of habit. Or possibly it's because he hasn't quite registered that the windows are no longer there. "Are we getting coffee?"

"You took your time, Merida," Tony says, instead of answering.

Clint folds his arms over his chest and huffs. "We can't all just fly down from top-floor rooms, Stark. Now, coffee?"

"There can be coffee," Teddy says, slipping into barista mode, and is rewarded with wide smiles from both Stark and Clint. Even Natasha looks happier at the thought. Steve just looks disappointed with his team's PR skills, which is a familiar expression, at least. It crosses his face at least once at each press conference.

"I knew we liked these kids for a reason," Stark says, as Billy turns to boot Iron Lad up and get some coffee brewing.

Somewhat alarmingly, this has already stopped feeling a million miles away from the normal routine, but then, Kate figures that's just what they get for working in an Avengers-themed coffeeshop in New York City.

"I should have taken that job in Tiffany's," she mutters, sidling up to America, who flashes her a sharp grin.

"Nah," America replies. "Too boring. You'd've hated it."


End file.
